hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
