all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
