All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize