You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
