Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
