Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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