i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
