I have demons in me.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Randomize