no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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