Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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