We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You may now shotgun with the bride
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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