He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
