As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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