puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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