If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
