Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
