so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
