Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
