Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
