Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize