If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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