But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
