Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
