dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
