new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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