I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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