I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
