yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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