U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
