im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
