There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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