i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
