it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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