Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
