I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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