just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize