oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm both gender and math confused
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
