It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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