grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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