There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
