she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
