too bad you live with your parents still
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
How does one acquire holy water?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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