I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
