Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I skipped work to stalk him.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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