...so i touched it.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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