We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
