Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
