id be glad to
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
