No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
