Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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