I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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