she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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