plz talk dirty to me
no, he came in my armpit
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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