I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Randomize
