ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
