got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
