do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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