the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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